(Editor’s Note: This article is intended for entertainment purposes only. Zombies don’t really exist. Probably.)
In recognition one of the last episodes of AMC’s fourth season of “The Walking Dead” that aired earlier this month, just in time for the holidays, here is a lighthearted look at products you should consider getting to help you survive a real world zombie apocalypse:
1. Lighting — As any zombie fighter can tell you, durable, rugged lighting is essential for spotting the walking dead long before they can make it to your compound. An aptly-named Defender rechargeable LED hand lamp fits the bill perfectly. It has a detachable stand and a rubber base, making it slip-resistant should you find yourself in the middle of a zombie attack.
2. Aerial Lifts — When it comes to fighting zombies, getting the high ground is essential. That’s where aerial lifts can come in handy. You and your loved ones will be invulnerable to attack when you are hoisted 30 feet or higher into the air. The only problem is that you have to come down sooner or later …
3. Protective Gear — As fans of “The Walking Dead” are aware, a single bite from a zombie is enough to transform someone into a zombie themselves. Protect your loved ones by covering yourself up with protective gear such as hard hats, slick-proof clothing and other wearable items that create a barrier between you and the undead.
4. Safety Vests — When a zombie battle is in full swing, you can prevent being an unintended target of “friendly fire” by identifying yourself to other survivors with a brightly-colored safety vest. Of course, it also will make it easier for the zombies to find you!
5. High-Quality Padlocks — The best protection from zombies is to lock yourself and other survivors into a secure location, such as prisons, government buildings, or other defendable facilities. Stocking up on a handful of high-quality padlocks can keep doors, windows and other potential entrances securely tightened to avoid unwanted zombie entry.
6. Post Hole Diggers — When it comes to creating a community that is safe from zombies, the higher the protective wall, the better. That’s why you need a good set of post hole diggers. These helpful tools allow you to sink your fence posts deep so that they can support a tall wall that is strong enough to keep out even the largest zombie mobs.
7. First Aid Equipment — After the zombie apocalypse, there won’t be any hospitals or doctor’s offices to go for medical treatment. Survivors will be entirely on their own. That’s why you need a comprehensive first aid kit and other equipment to treat injuries suffered during zombie battles.
8. Power Jacks — Foraging for food, medicine and other supplies in abandoned towns and cities requires the proper equipment. Gaining access to vehicles, train cars and even warehouses will be easier with the use of power jacks and other hydraulic equipment.
9. Generator — There will be no power grid in the post-zombie world so you will need to generate your own electricity using a top-of-the-line generator.
While you will probably never have to worry about living in a world filled with hungry zombies, it’s always fun to pretend! The final episode of this season’s “The Walking Dead” is scheduled to air February 9, 2014, on AMC.